Steve, this is your body.
Please, please, please stop drinking before 5pm.
Please stop thinking it would be a good idea to go to a bar after the festival thingy you've been drinking at for like 5 hours.
Please stop buying the singer from irish bands shots of jameson.
Please stop talking to random welsh guys.
Please stop leaving one bar to go to another bar because the drinks are stronger.
Please stop getting in political discussions with pretty girls at 1am.
Please stop drunk dialing people.
Let's try and calm down for a few weeks.
The fact that crazier and crazier things keep happening to you is not a good sign.
Quit trying to destroy me.