September 12, 2003

Baby, you can drive my car.

My three massive complaints about driving in LA:
1. Pedestrians. Could you take any fucking longer to cross the street? Can't you see that there are 25 cars trying to turn right, and you're walking so slowly that my grandmother would have lapped you by now. And what the fuck is up with you fucking strolling along through the intersection after your walk signal is gone? When the light turns green, you should fucking run. Someone needs to make all these fucking people spend a week in New York. That'll put the fear of God (or at least a several thousand pound machine) in them.

2. Cars not getting fully in turn lanes. I'm convinced that between this one and #1, we could cut down on traffic in LA by 50%. It's simple, folks, if you want to turn left, get all the way in the goddamn left turn lane and quit blocking the fucking left lane of thru traffic just because you're a lazy fuckwad. That's why they built the fucking turn lanes. Not so you could get 55% of your car in them and then sit there trying to turn left on Sunset for 25 minutes, causing traffic jams all the fucking way down to the beach. I FUCKING HATE YOU.

3. Parking. Seriously. I mean, Manhattan has less parking problems. Parking is more expensive, granted, and there is better public tranportation, but for Christ's sake, it's a fucking little tiny island with millions and millions of people packed on it. LA? Huge. Takes me 35 fucking minutes to get to a fucking Target. So why not build some fucking parking spaces? Have you not noticed that EVERYONE here drives a fucking CAR? I mean Jesus, Mary and fucking Joseph.

Thank you for your time.

And despite what this says, I, steve, a.k.a. orion, wrote this, not matt.
I'm just using his computer, and since he is my internet support, it's logged into the spig as him.

Matt doesn't say fuck nearly as much as I do.

Posted by matthew at September 12, 2003 03:46 AM | TrackBack