September 29, 2003

Ask me I'm sure I'll tell you how.

I wish I was brave.
I wish I was disciplined.
I wish I wasn't still fucked up about relationships somewhere deep down that starts to come out when I'm drunk.
Do you ever just want to find the person from that one truly horrible relationship you had and let them know that they created your buttons for future relationships to push?
They created your irrationally needy/over-compensatingly independent dichotomy when drunk?
They still color your relationships even though you've done your best to erase them from your life?
Thank you.
Thank you for fucking me up.
Thank you for making me not normal in relationships ever again.

I wish I was strong enough to get over the head games four years later.
I wish I could say that you didn't leave any mark on my life.
I wish that I didn't have that stain.

Posted by orion at September 29, 2003 12:17 AM | TrackBack